I am currently regretting every second that I lost in the last three years by being afraid to be my true self. It is so hard to repress things, it makes me tired and irritable and M had to put up with my defiance when it came to honest communication. Being out is so liberating, I don't have to clear out Mozilla's Firefox private data every time I log in to look at websites of the Domination and submission genre. I don't have to hide my porn stash deep in a file tree on the Apple Airport Extreme Hard Disk. It is liberating, I finally get to share my thoughts and kinks, and She is enjoying them as much as I; in some cases using the information learned to reward or punish me.
In a marathon session of phone sex last night, lasting at least 6 hours much to the chagrin of Verizon Wireless, who I anticipate is going to kick us off the network at any moment, She teased me and told me that I could have an orgasm. She waited until the last possible moment, and as the sensation of ejaculating was on the brink, she simply said, "stop". As the ejaculate oozed out, I thought to myself, that She must have seen the Rob and Jill site, where Jill ruins Rob's orgasm by stopping as he begins to ejaculate. I asked her where She learned about ruining an orgasm, so the semen comes out, but the pleasure of orgasm is lost. She replied I didn't learn it anywhere, I just knew to do it. This blew my mind because if She had this inside Her mind already, She is a natural Domme and i must consider myself to be quite a lucky knight.
Luckily, i was able to give Her two orgasms over the phone. One last night and one this morning. This morning's was peculiar because She was feeling submissive, which She admits is about 10 percent of the time, which closely matches up to my feeling Dominant 10 percent of the time. I became Her Master, and led Her through a scene, and gave Her three minutes to cum. She missed the mark, and I gave Her an extra minute, in which She exploded. This showed us who the more exacting Dominant was in the relationship, because if I miss the mark, I don't know if I would be getting the extra minute. I hope so, until I am better trained at least.
So two good orgasms for the Queen, and one deliciously ruined orgasm, and one wonderful orgasm for the knight. At this point, my orgasms for the week are over because i am flying in for a visit this coming weekend, where we will spend lots of time getting familiar with our bodies, roles and minds. The CB-6000 should be delivered by then, it was ordered last night along with a Wartenberg Wheel and a butt plug. M ordered a two sexy outfits, unfortunately one was backordered, and we are praying that the sexy, thigh high boots makes it in from the United Kingdom. A Feeldoe is next on our list among lots of other toys we want. Good thing it is tax refund time.
We have arranged that once we get settled in after my arrival, we will be renewing our vows, which we will write ourselves to commemorate our new direction in the relationship. She insists that mine should say, "love, honor, worship and obey" somewhere in there. When we were married the first time, the minister used generic, archaic vows and chided Her to say love, honor and obey. I know she burst out in laughter, and for the life of me, I don't know if She ever repeated the obey portion. Also, she wants the deletion of the "til death do us part" and prefers that I say, "as long as I bring pleasure to my Mistress". Hard to believe She only learned about this lifestyle a week ago, She is literally on Day 7!
~Humbly in service to the Queen
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